We’re not alone in our aloneness. I think most of us~ The vast majority of the population of the world~feel alone in our feelings. Feeling flawed and weary~ tired and frustrated. Even hopeless at times as to the betterment of it all and how and when it will all come about. When that change will take place that shifts things into perfect order. Bringing harmony to hearts and minds. Altering the frequency of this planet into a more heavenly and benevolent kingdom. Heaven on earth. It’s what we’re all seeking. And it’s what is seeking us. The divine perfection of the greater whole and our feeling of completeness in its holy recalibration. We’re seeking heaven in the midst of hell. It’s the hell that allows for us to lean upon the gates of its friction until we’re both polished into pearls that swing open the doors to the heavenly heart that is waiting for us all to return to its fold of eternal glory. Heaven is always there waiting just on the other side of hell. In every moment~every decision~every circumstance. The nature of grace is to fill the space with loving reminders of choice. Of which lens to see out of and which wolf to feed. What bones are we throwing to whom and why we are always the ones choking on them when we think they’ve left our hand.
These are my not-so-quiet contemplations this morning. The noisy chatter of the chiming in of a cacophony of voices clamoring for my attention. Pulling me in every direction and yanking on my heartstrings until I bleed out onto these pages. Looking for the air to turn my blood pink. Finding a happier shade to rest under.
I think to myself in all of this reflection~of those who too feel all these feels and just sit in them alone. Silently suffering under the surface and in the misery of the mundane. Waiting for the world to change the station like an overplayed John Mayer song. And so I sit on behalf of us all and feel for it all. The universal heartbeat of our humanity collectively beating the shit out of my chest and this is where I find my rest~ In the loving arms of Jesus and the white-lined pages of this journal. Where all gets to be aired and shared. Confessing my sins in order to free myself from them. Repenting for thinking I could ever manage this all on my own. So in between swallows of tears and coffee, I offer S.O.S’s of surrender to the savior of the world and wait in the fold of his patient glory for his will to be done. On Earth, as it is in Heaven.
~Audra Erwin
The “High on Life” Coach
