Walking With Grief


I went out for a walk tonight to get some exercise and take in the sunset. On my way back I was hit by a tsunami of grief. Seemingly out of nowhere. Provoked only by the thought of her presence and all the walks I used to take with her. Especially that one. The one that stored a lump in my throat the entire way. Diverting her attention when try as I might a tear would escape. Those moments I held so tender and dear that I knew were fleeting. Savoring every scent on and around┬áthat sidewalk that kept our strides with the linking of our arms. She wanted it that way. To keep pace with mine. Or for me to keep pace with her, whichever. Doesn’t matter we were joined at the hip. She was my person and I miss her so much. It’s wild how life catches your shoelaces unexpectedly tripping you up on the love that sends you head over heels. My heart is sore and the tears won’t stop and I’m not at all inclined to try and prevent them from their cathartic release. This is grief. This is what it looks like today.
I know she is still with me. I feel her spirit linger in the wind and all along the white picket fences, I passed with the green pastures and wild horses. Knowing that is where she too dwells. Free in a field of daisies.
Time seems to be the element that doesn’t garner its full appreciation til it’s come and gone…

Hug your people. Let go of right and wrong. Drop expectations and find gratitude and appreciation for those you hold dear. One day you will wish you had…
one more day.

~Audra Erwin

The “High on Life” Coach

1 Comment

  1. Paula's Gravatar Paula
    September 5, 2019    

    Audra – I hope you are doing well. I know how much of a heartbreak this has been for you and am glad you continue to feel the feels. You have had so many beautiful tributes to your grandma and I’m sure she is right there with you as you continue to write and teach. If there’s anything I can do for you, please let me know. Love you and feel you!!! Paula

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Audra Erwin High on  Life Coach