When Forever Becomes Now

olderwiser

An unexpected wave of tears came over me today as I read a message from one of my former classmates in our High School graduating class Facebook group.

It wasn’t to notify us of anyone’s passing, It was to remind us of our 30-year reunion that is fast approaching. It took my breath away as my mouth dropped open at this unfathomable idea that indeed it has been thirty years…The tears were evoked from the profound realization that half my life has come and gone. It’s like all the sudden the years roll into the one day that stills you into the silence of your own heart as you count each beat from now on as you witness just how precious and fleeting they are. I allowed myself to feel what was surfacing. A flash-flood without warning of old memories. Priceless in the picture window of my mind. Reliving them if only for a moment. Wishing I had been wiser to the passing of the time. I would savor more of the moments. Devour the experiences as they were unfolding and dog ear them in the book of my life. That’s the funny thing about the youthful part of our nature. Forever young in our spirits, we take for granted that the years add up and divide us from those old opportunities, experiences, and events that have come and gone.

It’s like a sacred right of passage that floats you down memory lane until you come back home to the moment that is now and decide from this place of sudden heart impact how you will handle the remaining days in the calendar of your life. I imagine this is how some feel when presented with life and death situations or a diagnosis that suddenly makes life a whole lot more fragile. Fragile in the sense that it’s valued more and handled with a lot more care and delicateness of nature while simultaneously riding it out for all it’s worth. I feel the weight of it now. Not wanting to take anything for granted. Not a bird, a plane or a Superman cartoon. It’s humbling and a little sad this out of nowhere hit in the gut. This divine check-up from the neck up courtesy of a Titusville Terrier alumni from the class of 1990, so graciously willing to round us all up and reconnect us with the spirit of yesteryear. Linking us back to the lyrics of our class song that reminds us we are in fact “Forever Young” even as we grow ever older.

And I in my revelation, all the wiser…

~Audra Erwin

The “High on Life” Coach

 

2 Comments

  1. Cheryl Butcher's Gravatar Cheryl Butcher
    May 20, 2019    

    Just wait until you get notice of your 50th class reunion! It truly does bring us back to what is important in our lives now. Looking back at some of the mis-placed ideas and beliefs we had when we were in high school and how much we have changed since our high school graduation. I was very “un-worldly” back in high school. I wouldn’t call myself worldly now — but in comparison to then, I sure am. Being present is such a beautiful gift and periodically we need to look back to see how far we have come on our journies — even though we still have miles to go!

    • Audra Erwin's Gravatar Audra Erwin
      May 21, 2019    

      So very true Cheryl! xo

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Audra Erwin High on  Life Coach