Riding It All Out

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I’ve swung out. Riding my pendulum like a broom. Wiping tears as they fly fast and furiously. Fighting my urge to choke them back; Squelch them or reach for a better feeling thought. I’m done bypassing. Tired of caging what wants to be expressed because it appears less becoming. Less in alignment with being “High on life” and how incongruent is that to not fit into the brand that is normally so fitting. And so I allow the ride even though it makes me nauseous to swing over territory and terrain I never dared cross. And yet I know what it’s all about. I understand the need to surrender to the swing. The paradigm-shifting left of center in an effort to find it. I have to let myself be, what I never could be. Hysterical. Angry. Fucking upset and for legitimate reason. Multiple ones. So I’ll be with what I couldn’t be with prior to now. I’ll let others judge it if they feel it necessary. Questioning, what is “wrong” with her. The very thing I feared would happen dare I exercise my right to air my unpleasant emotions. And so I’m allowing that too. All of it is welcomed. Honored in fact for the audacity of its desire to send a smoke signal from my soul. An S.O.S to sink or swim and I’ll not drowned in it all. In fact, this is how I float. This is what makes the cream rise to the top. The frothy film, topping off the surface that once kept everything just below it…

~Audra Erwin

The “High on Life” Coach

1 Comment

  1. Cheryl Butcher's Gravatar Cheryl Butcher
    February 25, 2019    

    Audra, keep strong and keep carrying on! You are just going through another test of your resolve. You’ve got this!

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