It tried to engulf me again.
A tidal wave of “not enoughness” of the “doing” nature. Drowning me in questions that illicit only answers to support my feelings that attempt to take me under. Suffocating all the truth that lies above the surface of doubt.
I’m continually learning these waves are a normal and natural inescapable part of life and can only be catastrophic if we pretend they aren’t there. Suffering only in a belief that somehow they “shouldn’t” be present in our experience. Exhausting ourselves in an attempt to control by treading water and holding our breath long before the submergence by our worry and fear.
I stop making myself wrong for these waves that ebb and flow with time and tide. Especially when I’m up to something new. Something bigger than my own mind can even comprehend.
These are my swimming lessons, supporting me in going much further than I feel qualified to go.
I love the resiliency of my human spirit that alerts me and leads me to the oceans of my own discovery. Waking me at 4 am like this morning. Whispering for me to sit up and have a listen to what is presently threatening to weight me down. Giving me the opportunity to examine it, release it, and move on once the truth has buoyed me back up where I can breathe deeply again.
It’s in these moments I pause and know that I’m carried by grace. By something bigger that has this whole thing handled.
I’m told to let go of the idea that these spurts of uncertainty will ever go away completely and to take them as a sign that I’m on the verge of another wave of expansion and growth. To accept them as I do the rain, on the days I had planned to go to the beach.
Everything needs to be cleansed periodically. Debris needn’t clog our path toward our ultimate destination, which is always the here and now…
The “High on Life” Coach